Why You Should Date a Data Scientist

As the classic love story goes, we fell madly in love on our first Tinder date. Not quite. It went something like this. In a time long, long ago, we sipped beers by the lake, getting to know each other. I asked him about his work, which was a fatal mistake because my curiosity unknowingly opened Pandora’s Box. About what you might ask?

Machine Learning.

I, of course, had no idea what Machine Learning was. I barely knew what AI was besides what I’d learned in Science Fiction novels — that robots or zombies will eventually take over. Over a year later, Pandora’s Box is still wide open. Little did I know that I was inducting myself into a whole new culture. What culture you might ask?

Tech.

It’s definitely one of the strangests cultures I’ve experienced. I’ve lived abroad for over four years, traveling to over 30 countries, so I’ve been around. But, tech has been one of the hardest cultures for me to accept and embrace with open arms.

What would have helped me overcome this resistance faster was a user guide on what to expect when dating someone in tech. I’m breaking down my experience to lessen the barrier to entry because when you choose to date a Data Scientist you’re also choosing to date tech. They’re a married couple, and you’re the third wheel, joining the party.

Let’s begin with the benefits of dating someone in tech:

1. Obviously, the elephant in the room is pay. As a struggling teacher, juggling two jobs, it was refreshing to date a financially stable human. It’s hot to know someone can afford to pay for dinner and drinks. But, what’s even hotter is that he doesn’t do it for the money. It’s about his:
2. Passion for his work. I’ve accepted that the love of his life is Machine Learning. Luckily, at the moment, computers can’t have sex with humans, so I’ll always come first.
3. Job opportunities. I’ve never heard of potential employers trying to lure someone away from their current job to work for them because of:
4. His big brain. Well, at least I think he’s smart. He did get a PhD, so he’s a doctor. But, he usually speaks some tech language that I don’t understand, so it’s hard to tell.
5. Tech nerds are super sweet. When they’re not arguing about their favorite programming languages and tools with each other on Twitter, they’re just uber nerds who need someone to listen to their latest discoveries.

Source: https://xkcd.com/386/

Wealthy, passionate, smart, and sweet. What more can you ask for? Now that you’ve swiped right and determined you like the Data Scientist, this is when things get interesting. The flirtation phase with tech begins. Here are some initial issues you may run into.

1. The “what on earth is he talking about?” question.

The Data Scientist speaks multiple languages. Machine Learning. Twitter. Python. R. German. It can get really confusing. Once I’ve gotten myself onto the same page as him, I quickly determine how much energy I should invest in understanding what he’s saying because showing any sign of interest can open another Pandora’s Box.

1. The “What does he do?” question.

No one will understand. Doesn’t matter if he explains it, or I explain it. My typical explanation goes something like this:

“Oh, you know, he does computer stuff.”

The “Oh, cool! Like what?” face.

“He makes algorithms.”

Confused face.

“You know, he does stuff with the data that every website collects about you.”

Now, they’re looking at me like I’m crazy. That means it’s time for the Netflix example. Explaining the Netflix recommendation system usually does the trick. However, that reference is lost on my grandparents. At this point, I usually accept defeat.

“He makes the robots that’ll take over the world.”

Then, they get it.

Source: https://xkcd.com/1262/

After the initial shock has worn off and you’re adjusting to tech’s languages and customs, tech feels a little friendlier. You think tech isn’t that bad. We could hang out sometimes. This is when things get weird. You and tech secretly start meeting without the Data Scientist. When he catches wind of your affair, look forward to some interesting gifts like:

• An external hard drive because backups are important.
• Data Science books because they’ll help me understand what he does.
• A keyboard because he doesn’t like this one.
• An external monitor because he wants me to feel like a tech person.
• Tech-related clothes because he wants me to look like a tech person.
• Cables because he has a closet full of them.

Although these gifts aren’t the sexiest, some of them will surprisingly improve the quality of your life because it’s not all about him. It’s about you too. You may actually become friends with tech. This’ll lead you down some very unexpected paths. For example, you may learn new languages like Python and Javascript. Play video games. Get Twitter. Build a website and start the blog you’ve always wanted to do. Go back to school to become a web developer. Crazy, unimaginable stuff that wouldn’t have been possible a few years ago.

Source: https://xkcd.com/353/

TL;DR

Perhaps, opening Pandora’s Box wasn’t such a fatal mistake after all because dating a Data Scientist and becoming friends with tech has changed my life. Luckily, Pandora’s Tech Box didn’t release any evils into the world (yet), but it did present some challenges. It’s forced me to confront my resistance to tech. It’s forced me to open up to tech’s ideas, customs, languages. But most importantly, it’s brought hope into my life. If I can befriend tech, anyone can befriend tech.

So, don’t be afraid to swipe right on a Data Scientist. Don’t be afraid to learn a new culture. Don’t be afraid to fall in love with tech because there’s hope for you to overcome its initial barriers. There’s hope for you to fully integrate tech into your life, so you’re not always the third wheel. And there’s hope that tech and I and the Data Scientist live happily, everafter.

Source: https://xkcd.com/150/

I originally wrote this article for Women in Coding & Data Science’s WiCDS Data Science Blogathon on Medium. I was one of the winners! I won my favorite tech gift yet.

---